Letter to Shakespeare

Dear Will,
    I'm going to be very blunt with you, please prepare your ego.  Your language makes no sense and it challenges my reading skills to exhaustion.  I understand that you were trying to impress your rich and royal audience with your fancy tongue, but you confuse the crap out of us "common folk."  Where are the plays wrote for us, the ones that don't need a side dictionary to decipher what is happening from scene to scene?  The only time your writing appeals to our vocabulary is when a character is incoherently drunk.  Are you saying that were as dumb as some one like yourself would be if you were under an influence of heavy drinking?  In my opinion, "Othello" was very dull until the last act.  Events were too drug out and everything was dramatized; which, I guess, drama is a big part of theatrics, but seriously you may have overdone it.  I really enjoyed the profanity and dirtiness the play had overall, mostly because half of the other students didn't catch onto it.  Concluding my thoughts, I'd just like to inform you (you know just a little friendly FYI), people can only die once; the multiple deaths per character were a bit ridiculous. 
                                                  Sincerely,
                                                                Katie Fitzpatrick